a grammar: offended by rank OBJECTIFICATION of writers

http://agrammar.tumblr.com/post/1127991128/offended-by-rank-objectification-o...

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There is this thing currently going around tumblr about why dating a writer is good. I think it’s nice that this thing is going around, because I like writers, and lots of us could use more dates. As a writer who has dated people, though — including other writers — I would like to offer some correctives to this list.

The items in bold are the alleged reasons to date a writer. I have replaced the original commentary with my bleak corrective, in lightface.

  1. Writers will romance you with words. We probably won’t. We write for ourselves or for money and by the time we’re done we’re sick of it. If we have to write you something there’s a good chance it’ll take us two days and we’ll be really snippy and grumpy about the process.
  2. Writers will write about you. You don’t want this. Trust me.
  3. Writers will take you to interesting events. No. We will not. We are busy writing. Leave us alone about these “interesting events.” I know one person who dates a terrific writer. He goes out alone. She is busy writing
  4. Writers will remind you that money doesn’t matter so much. Yes. We will do this by borrowing money from you. Constantly.
  5. Writers will acknowledge you and dedicate things to you. A better way to ensure this would be to become an agent. That way you’d actually make money off of talking people through their neuroses.
  6. Writers will offer you an interesting perspective on things. Yes. Constantly. While you’re trying to watch TV or take a shower. You will have to listen to observations all day long, in addition to being asked to read the observations we wrote about when you were at work and unavailable for bothering. It will be almost as annoying as dating a stand-up comedian, except if you don’t find these observations scintillating we will think you’re dumb, instead of uptight.
  7. Writers are smart. The moment you realize this is not true, your relationship with a writer will develop a significant problem.
  8. Writers are really passionate. About writing. Not necessarily about you. Are you writing?
  9. Writers can think through their feelings. So don’t start an argument unless you’re ready for a very, very lengthy explication of our position, our feelings about your position, and what scenes from our recent fiction the whole thing is reminding us of.
  10. Writers enjoy their solitude. So get lost, will you?
  11. Writers are creative. This is why we have such good reasons why you should lend us $300 and/or leave us alone, we’re writing.
  12. Writers wear their hearts on their sleeves. Serious advice: if you meet a writer who’s actually demonstrative, be careful.
  13. Writers will teach you cool new words. This is possibly true! We may also expect you to remember them, correct your grammar, and look pained after reading mundane notes you’ve left for us.
  14. Writers may be able to adjust their schedules for you. Writers may be able to adjust their schedules for writing. Are you writing? Get in line, then.
  15. Writers can find 1000 ways to tell you why they like you. By the 108th you’ll be pretty sure we’re just making them up for fun.
  16. Writers communicate in a bunch of different ways. But mostly writing. Hope you don’t like talking on the phone — that shit is rough.
  17. Writers can work from anywhere. So you might want to pass on that tandem bike rental when you’re on vacation.
  18. Writers are surrounded by interesting people. Every last one of whom is imaginary.
  19. Writers are easy to buy gifts for. This is true. Keep it in mind when your birthday rolls around, okay?
  20. Writers are sexy. No argument. Some people think this about heroin addicts, too.

Ouch.

talkin on the phone is rough. fuck that shit.

Obama a “Socialist”? I Wish!

http://progressive.org/wx071910.html

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I wish Obama had pressed for single-payer national health care.

I wish Obama had nationalized Citicorp and Bank of America, rather than bail them out.

I wish he would have favored breaking up the rest of the big banks so they couldn’t destroy our economy.

I wish he would have forced any banks taking federal bailout money to freeze foreclosures for at least a year and freeze interest rates on mortgages and credit cards.

I wish Obama would have proposed redistributing income from the wealthy to those who really need it by raising the marginal income tax, and the capital gains tax, and the estate tax.

I wish Obama would have proposed a transaction tax on every stock sale so as to curb speculation.

I wish Obama would have proposed raising the minimum wage to $10 an hour, as Ralph Nader has proposed.

I wish Obama would have replaced Ben Bernanke at the Fed with Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz.

I wish Obama would have come out for democratizing the Fed, as Dennis Kucinich has recommended.

I wish Obama would have proposed a public works program to put every American who needs a job to work.

I wish Obama would have ordered every federal building to be installed with a solar panel, and almost every car in the federal fleet to be a hybrid or electric car.

I wish Obama would have proposed opening federal grocery stores in areas that are food deserts.

I wish Obama would have addressed the cruel problem of poverty in America.

I wish Obama would have proposed 12 months of paid maternity and paternity leave, mandatory paid sick leave, and federal child care.

I wish Obama would have advocated the nationalization of the armament companies, as Sen. Robert La Follette did back in 1924.

No decent socialist would have implemented policies that have left unemployment at over 9 percent and foreclosures at record heights.

No decent socialist would have let the banks get off so easily.

No decent socialist would have been caught dead praising the CEOs of Goldman Sachs and JP Morgan Chase and justifying their obscene salaries the way Obama did. (“I know both those guys; they are very savvy businessmen. I, like most of the American people, don’t begrudge people success or wealth. That is part of the free-market system.”)

No decent socialist would have left the health insurance industries in the driver’s seat.

No decent socialist would have empowered a panel to advocate the cutting of Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid.

No decent socialist would have expanded the war in Afghanistan, a hopeless war being fought by the sons and daughters of America’s working class.

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Reblogged for truth.

Sorry I’ve been Tumblr lazy the last several days, it has been kind of hectic and I’ve been sick on top of that.

I don’t agree with every point on the list, but gosh, wouldn’t it be nice if we had at least half of these things???

i support every thing on this list and i too wish that socialism in america was a reality, i don’t give a FUCK what anyone thinks, socialism fucking works, deal with it.

And what a vivid dream it was.

Last night involved multiple dream sequences, two of which I remember very vividly, meaning that I must have had some control over them.

The first one was weird, and I don’t necessarily want to share it, due to it’s upsetting nature. Or at least, someone might find it upsetting. The second that I remember vividly was pretty freakin sweet.

It started out as I went to a movie theater to see this movie about a character I had created years ago, we’ll call him, idk, Craig (I never came up with a fitting name for him all those years ago, so I only know him by looks). Anyways, the movie began with Craig and his friend discussing a developing socialist party in Russia that needed funding to overthrow the current Russian government, and being that Craig is supposed to be from Russia and is also socialist, this was a big deal for him.
He and his friend, we’ll call him Johnny, as he too has no memorable name from my dream, were by a pool discussing an epic bank robbery to support this movement in Russia. As they were planning this, the American government was talking with a high up official in the Russian government about suppressing the rise of socialism and arms treaties and the like. They had him on video chat, as I recall, but he was unaware, so he was making a fool of himself on camera because he thought that he could only hear his voice, not actually see him. Swearing in Russian as he tripped over some cables, the Americans wondered if this was the right man for the job.
Fast forward to the actual bank robbery, because the rest didn’t stick inside my head, and we find Craig and Johnny and a small team in a very heated gunfight, shit was blowing up and people were getting shot left and right, shit was bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s.
After the smoke cleared and the gunshots stopped, the only two remaining were Craig and Johnny, who was wounded, but not too severely. Craig grabbed the money and loaded it into the getaway van and the two returned to Craig’s hide out to stash the cash.
Fast forward a few months.
Craig had unloaded the money to the Russian socialist movement, and was placed on America’s most wanted list, so he was dodging the government as best he could. As he walked from a city square back to the hilltop overlooking an ocean to his van, he noticed it was gone. It had been moved by someone.
Suspicious, he looked down the hill and saw the van, doors wide open, sitting on a dirt road.
At that time, he received a call from Johnny, who requested his presence at the city square that Craig had just left. Craig graciously accepted, as he did not want to be anywhere near the van that had been ransacked and left as bait.
When Craig met up with Johnny, they went into a comic shop, for whatever reason, and the men at the counter perked up when they entered. Craig found it odd, but said nothing, as Johnny seemed calm.
As Craig was browsing the comics, Johnny began a conversation with the clerks. The smaller, skinnier clerk pulled out a pistol and began opening fire on Craig. Luckily for Craig, this clerk was a bad shot and missed him the first time.
The clerk jumped over the counter to get closer to Craig, who pulled down a glass display case on top of the clerk as he came closer. The clerk began to shoot aimlessly as this heavy case came tumbling down on him, hitting Johnny in the leg and killing the other clerk. Craig broke the glass on the case and grabbed a large shard, plunging it deep into the clerks neck. As he was dying, he fired off the rest of his rounds, missing Craig entirely.
Startled and bewildered by the events that had just unfolded, Craig and Johnny escaped through a series of tunnels underneath the city square.
The two agreed to split up and Craig went north as Johnny went south.
As he was fleeing through the tunnels, Craig began to notice that all the exits were blocked, except for one. It all seemed too suspicious to be chance, and upon exiting, he was confronted by Marilyn Manson (strangely enough) who had control of a giant snake.
At that moment, Craig received a call on his phone from Johnny.
Johnny had sold him out to the american government to spare himself, and Manson was contracted to capture and kill Craig.
Outraged and out gunned, it looked as if it was the end for Craig.
From atop a building, Asar (Stephen’s character, who is a bad ass) jumped down and assisted Craig in this battle. Escaping with their lives, Asar and Craig began a quest to Alaska, so that Craig could get back to Russia, where he was accepted as a hero of the state, and along the way the two were being chased by Manson, desperate for revenge, and the government, eager to capture the fugitive Craig.

The end never really played out because I got a text from Katie about my birthday, so yeah.

I know this story seems a little juvenile, and maybe it is, but it was a sweet dream to experience and it’s one that I won’t forget for a long time.
Not my best writing, but I’m trying to remember as much as I can without interrupting the flow.